Back home.
But home became a meaningless word. For all this time I built a house in a different place. The other house saw me grow and it's where I tried hard to leave my growing pains. This house saw me change and calm down. I gained some self-love but lost some uniqueness... Well, I also gained other type of uniqueness...
Now I'll always miss something and it won't be something about the places or even the people, it will be something about myself. I'll never feel complete in one place or another.
I wonder if someone can change this feeling someday. I wish I could call home to a flesh and bone place instead of a brick and stone one... And it's probably the first time I allow myself to think this and truly feel it. Maybe ontogenesis is replicating phylogenesis and I'm evolving to accept the need of bonds and ties, despite all my fears and resistence to it.
For now, the truth is that there is no home, just a perpetual dizziness, an impaired spatial perception and a rough notion of equilibrium...
