the windy city

post-conference stress can be easily handled by a little roadtrip to my favorite city in the world... (yes, it beats San Fran)

ready to go

This could be me today... except for the fact that I can't bend my back. Despite that, I'll have to deal with paper tubes and presentations, and questions... Today I'm a researcher (I guess that's what I am everyday, but today I'm supposed to show it externally). So, I won't care about feelings today, I won't care about attention, and I won't care about love. Conferences are what they are...

handle with care

did I forget to mention that?

DONE

♥ ? or I don't give a damn...

Some days I wake up a different person, someone I don't recognize. I'm sure it is because "I miss the comfort in being sad". But, then I shower and look at my war scars - the old and the new ones - and I just realize it's better to miss the comfort in being sad but still independent and fearless. I'm more like myself if I'm happy but tough and cold than if I'm sad but soft and dependent. I try to love you and miss you and need you just because that's how any other girl would behave and feel. But I'm not like any other girl and I don't want to lose it from the start by being someone else. Please learn to know me, that's your task, accepting it is another story... And my task is just being myself, because accepting who you are is part of myself, loving it is another story...

drained...

 (daí)

estou demasiado cansada... 

cansada de não articular as ideias com as palavras nem as palavras com as ideias

cansada de não ter certezas

cansada de não saber se vale a pena

cansada de ter de ser tradutora, designer, matemática, e engenheira informática

estou demasiado cansada...

No, Freddy... wrong, wrong, wrong or Yes, Kurt... right as always

O mundo seria tão melhor sem feriados nem fins-de-semana, quando eu não estou em "casa"....

(however,the numbness scares the hell out of me... I guess I wrote this to convince myself that I am feeling what anyone else would be feeling)